BLISS!
BLISS!!
“now you can rest mamma” the midwife snatched him away and
put him in a blue basin on the counter top…..Jeez! How could you place him on a
countertop and move around?! It’s not a thing! my baby! Trying to raise myself
up I held on to the sidebars of the bed, “no dear, you shouldn’t” with the head
lower than the body I couldn’t see properly what she was up to…in a few secs I
could hear a soft cry, “sister, what happened?” “nothing dear, just an antidote
for the baby as you have had two pethidine shots” Mary, Mother of God, had I
known they would prick him for that I would have endured all that and opted out
of those shots….I just wanted to be out of that room and able to hold him close
to me… I kept asking her what next…
In a while we were back in the room, all wrapped up, he was
placed in a cot next to my bed, I adored him as I watched him, head full of
hair, fair skin? no...it was yellowish, only to realize shortly that he had traces
of jaundice ….he was quite furry type like my Pappa, long fingers tightly
clenched, I watched him sleep, eyes
tightly closed, long eye lashes flickered, but smiling in between, hmm…the angels
have come to play, I remembered what I have heard of the elders say when they
see infants smiling in sleep, or may be his Silvi Appoopa came to say a hi to
him, yeah maybe that’s why he is smiling too much, they are having a quiet
chat. I wanted to pass out and sleep day in and day out, I had three nights
sleep to catch up on, but the brain wouldn’t let the body to slumber. Finally,
with the sleep deprived husband’s assurance to be awake and watching I decided
to lay down and close my eyes…
With the visiting hours for the day come to an end the
corridor was empty and silent, except for some occasional whining and pacifying
voices coming from next door. All alone in the room with the baby I felt weird,
a heaviness of the heart, it looked all creepy, the complex machines, the tubes
and cables running around, buttons and switches. Placed under the blue light in
his cot with just the pampers and goggles, he was sleeping, the heart was
beating fast I could see that through, placing my hand over him I checked if he
was feeling cold with no clothes on, the light was warm. He had to lie under it
due to the yellowness of skin, every couple of hours the nurse would check his
eyes and skin. Before handing over the shift to the night duty staff, the nurse
came into the room with some formula milk bottles and diapers. “Come dear let
me show you how to change your baby’s diapers…”, without blinking the eyes and
full attention not to miss out anything I watched her carefully, looked like a
student about to face the toughest practical exams. Had I paid ½ the attention at the Physics and
Chemistry Lab practicals I could have done better in the Board exams.
“Mam you need to feed him every hour”, handing over the
formula bottle the nurse said, “and mark on this sheet how much feeding he has
taken, he should take at least 10ml each time”, she pointed to the markings in
the bottle. “After each feed take him on your shoulders and gently pat on his
back until he burps, then you can lay him down, should you need any assistance
you need to press on that red button…”the instructions went on and on. As soon as
they left the room I put down the bottles and marking sheet and took him in my
arms, totally irked at the way they handled him. Enough of light and cot, I
walked down the aisle with him cradled in my arms, he seemed to be enjoying it
very much. “Oh ma’am, he should be under the light and you mam should be
resting” the nurses doing their rounds, came out from one of the rooms. “We
will be coming to check the bilirubin reading for the baby soon” she called out
as we walked back to our room. I laid him down on my bed and cuddled together
trying for some sleep, only to be woken up by the nurse who came in for her
next check.
By now I disliked her, not disliked, really hated her…she
seems to be coming in only to scold me, that’s what if felt then. Reprimanding
for having the baby on the bed than on the cot below the blue light she just
carried him away…What?! Without my consent she just carries him away! I followed,
at the nurses’ station she turned around “please return to the room, I will
bring him over after the tests” huh! No way! I will stay put!! She laid him
down on the table and undid all the wrapping, the cold table gave him chills
that he started crying and my stomach twitched, I felt like crying too. “please
go back to your room” she had a stern face, I wouldn’t budge, “sister, what are
you going to do”? I gathered some courage to ask, “I need to take a few drops
of blood for the test” she pulled out some needle packs. God! He is going to be
pricked, I wanted to stop her, snatch him from her and run away. Instead I
watched in total despair with tears rolling down. She seemed heartless, pulling
his foot she pricked his toe and pressed, pricked again and pressed, baby was
crying uncontrollably, he hardly had the energy to, the tiny little voice was tired
already. A few drops of blood was collected in a slide, when I thought it was
over she did it again and again, and then the next foot. I couldn’t take it any
longer, I begged and pleaded to stop, I was stupid to realize that I shouldn’t
make her angry, she paid no heed to my cries, a few more frantic minutes and he
was handed over all bundled up.
Weeping and hugging him tight, begging him not to cry we
walked towards our room. On one of the side benches in the corridor sat an Arab
lady watching us throughout. She was an elderly woman all covered in the black
abhaya with only the eyes through a golden coloured metal piece. As we reached near her, she stopped me,
patted me on the cheek and was saying something of all that I could make out
was “…Masha Allah….Khair…” Hardly a year in the country, I was confused and
worried as to what and why would she? at the same time I felt good somewhere
deep within. She rubbed the forehead of the little one and said something
lifting her hands up, those eyes were full of compassion and I could easily
understand she was trying to console me and bless the baby. She offered me some
sweets and dates pointing to a golden coloured tray besides her, it was EID or
probably the previous day of EID. I did not know what to do or say, I shook my
head for a no, she kept on saying something which she too understood that I am
unable to understand and in action showed me to sleep.
Back in the room, I dared not lay him down, what if that
nasty nurse returns, she looked like a blood sucking monster to me. Clutching
him tight across my chest I sat down, I felt so lonely, lonely would be a less
suited word, orphaned? No, the feeling was even miserable. Tossing and turning
in the bed, wept till all tears ran dry, I couldn’t wait for it to be morn. The
nurse on duty for the day walked in “Hello mamma, how are you?” I didn’t care
to answer, with a bee stung face I simply stared at her, she went about her
routine, ticking off her checklist and then provided me with a card, “here,
this is your baby’s records, the weight
at birth, here the vaccinations mentioned….” I looked at the card and
read BCG, Hep B,… Oh! This is what they do here…all pricking! Jesus! They did
too many without asking me! I swear “no one will ever touch him without my
permission”! As soon as he walked in I broke down, “Achacha, please take us
away from here!...
With the formalities completed in a couple of hours we
walked out, safe and cozy, cradled in the mother’s arms, oblivious of the
miseries, the joys, awaiting us outside the hospital gates.
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